Love Cinema Vol. 6

ONE NIGHT, IN THE EARLY SPRING OF 2004, FRANK BROWN WAS ABURPTLY AWOKEN BY THE GHOST OF FATTY ARBUCKLE. FATTY TOLD FRANK THAT HE HAD A MISSION FOR HIM. FOR FRANK WAS CHOSEN TO START A BAND. FATTY WENT ON TO SAY THAT THIS BAND WAS TO SAVE ROCK FROM THE LIKES OF EMO, NU METAL, HAIR METAL REVIVAL/NOSTALGIA, ANYTHING THAT ENDS IN "CORE", WHATEVER THOSE SLIPKNOT RETARDS ARE SOUPOSED TO BE, AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GET INTO WHAT IS PASSING FOR PUNK THESE DAYS ( ALTHOUGH HE DID MUTTER SOMETHING ABOUT ASHLEE SIMPSON BEING A BRAINDEAD CUNT WITH A BEAK THAT RIVALS BIG BIRD'S!). FATTY TOLD FRANK THAT THIS WAS HIS DESTINY, AND IF CHOSE NOT TO ACCEPT IT, THEN HE'D BETTER GET USED TO LISTNING TO NOTHING BUT ABSOLUTE SHIT ON THE RADIO FROM NOW ON!

FRANK AWOKE THE NEXT MORNING WONDERING IF IT HAD ALL BEEN A DREAM. AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION, HE DECIDED TO HEED FATTY'S WARNING

HE STARTED WITH A GUITAR PLAYER

HE CALLED UP GEORGE, THE GUITAR GENOIUS FROM HIS OLD MUSLIM HARDCORE BAND CALLED "SLEEPER CELL". GEORGE HAD JUST PUT THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON HIS NOW INFAMOS " PUNK OPERA ", AND WAS DOING NOTHING ELSE (BESIDES CONSTRUCTING A PORN SERVER) SO HE SAID "SURE, LET'S DO IT!".

NOW THEY NEEDED A BASS PLAYER.

APPARENTLY THERE WAS A SEVERE SHORTAGE OF AVAILABLE BASS PLAYERS IN NEW JERSEY AT THE TIME, SO THEY HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO RECRUIT SHAWN. HE WAS RELUCTANT TO SAY YES, BUT SINCE HE OWED BOTH FRANK AND GEORGE A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF MONEY, THE PROPOSITION WASN'T UP FOR DEBATE ( CAN YOU SAY INDENTURED SERVITUDE! ).

FINALLY THEY NEEDED A SINGER

ON THE WAY TO PRACTICE ONE DAY, THEY STOPPED TO PICK UP A GIRL THAT WAS HITCH HIKING. ONCE THE GIRL WAS IN THE CAR, THEY REALIZED THIS WAS NO GIRL. SENSING A BEATING WAS COMING, THIS GUY ( CHUCK ) PULLED OUT A CAN OF MACE AND JUST STARTED SPRAYING WILDLY, GETTINIG THE MAJORITY OF IT IN HIS OWN EYES. HE PROCEDED TO LET OUT AN UNGODLY SCREAM THAT IN EVERYONES BLINDED STATE, SOUNDED LIKE AN ANGEL IN LABOR.

AT THAT MOMENT, THE BAND WAS COMPLETE.

NOW THEY NEEDED SOME SHOWS.

DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, THEIR FIRST SHOW WAS A COMPLETE DISASTER, OR A COMPLETE SUCCESS. THEY WERE BANNED FROM THE CLUB, HAD TO PAY AN OUTRAGEOUS AMOUNT FOR THE DAMAGES, AND HAD ALOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO TO THE I.N.S.

THE FOLLOWING SHOWS WEREN'T TOO MUCH DIFFERENT. RESULTING IN REPEATED BANNING FROM PLACES, RUNINS WITH THE COPS, FIRE DEPARTMENT, A.T.F., AND RELIGIOUS RIGHT GROUPS. BUT THATS ANOTHER STORY, THE POINT IS THAT NO MATTER WHERE THEY PLAYED, THE PEOPLE LOVED IT( WELL 95% OF THE PEOPLE ANYWAY, 5% TEND TO GET SICK)!

SO THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS, YOU CAN BAN THEM, YOU CAN FINE THEM, YOU CAN THROW BEER AT THEM, BUT LOVE CINEMA VOL. 6 IS HERE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WITH ROCK TILL YOU'RE SPITTING OUT TEETH!!!

AND AS FOR WHAT THE FUCK LOVE CINEMA VOL. 6 IS SOUPOSED TO MEAN, YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK FATTY ABOUT THAT ONE.